To Have Another Baby, Or To Not?

To Have Another Baby, Or To Not?

If you have children already, there’ll come a time when you begin to think, “is it time to have another?” But wow, is that a big question, and it isn’t something that can be answered by anybody other than you and your partner. Everyone has different goals and motives and so on. Instead of looking for an answer, you should think hard about it, beginning by looking at the following considerations!

Why Has This Come Up?

If you already have children, then ask yourself why this has come up right now. You might be subjecting yourself to this mentally torturing question for a reason that’s easy to identify. Maybe a friend or family member is pregnant and has just had a child, and you’re feeling a fleeting moment or nostalgia for your pregnancy days. Whenever it comes to big decisions in life, it’s always useful to look at where these questions have come from. They could prevent you from making a mistake, or be the push you need to go through with one course of action.

Trusting the Gut

Sometimes, it won’t be about what makes sense or not. It might just be an innate desire to have another child, and that’s just as valid as any logical train of thought. It works the other way too. Everything might be set up nicely for you to have another child, but that doesn’t mean you should. If you have an underlying feeling that you’d prefer not to have another baby, then you shouldn’t ignore that feeling: while it might just be a case of nerves, it might also be you giving yourself a massive red flag that it’s not the right thing!

What Does Your Partner Say?

You’re not the only one who has to take this decision. You have a partner too, who has just as much say in the matter as you do. You might both be on the same page, either side of the debate. If you both agree that your baby making days are over, then it could be worth settling the matter for good by looking at vasectomy or tubal ligation options from a clinic like Marie Stopes. On the other hand, if you’re both in agreeance that it’s the right thing to do, then congratulations.

Looking at the Finances

We do, unfortunately, live in the real world, and it’s not just about what you want that enters into the decision making process. You also need to look at whether you can afford it or not. Like it or not, babies are an expensive business, and if you already have other mouths to feed then the increase in home, food, and longer term bills might prove to be too much if funds are limited. If you have a financial advisor, now would be a good time to talk to them. In the end, if you want a baby then you need to ensure you get adequately take care of it without diminishing the quality of your other children’s lives.

Reviewing the Clan

And talking about the children you already have, ask yourself how everything is going. Does the family seem happy, finely balanced, set up to be a strong family? If so, you’ll have to consider how adding another child, one that will naturally take up most of your time for the first couple of years might affect that dynamic. If your family is currently perfect (or the opposite), that doesn’t necessarily mean that you should decide not to have a child (or have!), but it is another factor to think about with your partner, and if they’re old enough to understand such concepts, your children too.

Long Term Plans

Whether or not to have a child is about the here and now, but it’s also about the next twenty years. What are your plans over that period? You should think about these things, not just your immediate wants. For example, if your current children are ten or so, then you would only have another ten years before they fled the nest: does that idea excite or frighten you? You might have decided that your calling in life is to nurture and love, and thus you want to do it for as long as possible, or you might see that time as an opportunity to do other things with your life.  

Time, Energy Levels

We’re sure you haven’t forgotten how demanding it is to look after a newborn baby. You might have taken this in your stride when you were younger, but if you’re coming off the back of raising other children, you might find that it’s more difficult when you’re a little bit older. Also, think about this: your current children will have needs. They’ll need to be taken to school, sports practice, and the rest; how will you be able to juggle these demands with the demands of a new baby?

Mother’s Health

The older you get, the riskier falling pregnant becomes. In fact, once you’re over 35 then it can get more complicated pretty quickly. Don’t let that alarm you: most mothers are completely fine, and their babies are too, but it is something you need to bear in mind. Growing older is one of the driving forces behind wanting another child, but it’s important not to be guided exclusively by that feeling. It’s very rarely a ‘no or never’ moment.

If This Is It

In the end, you can think and think about these decisions, but ultimately you need to just make a choice one way or the other and stick with it. If you’re having trouble reaching a decision, however, take a look at your current family and ask yourself this: does this look like a complete family, or would more children make sense? You’re not doing your current family a disservice if you look at your present children and decide that they would benefit from having a younger brother or sister! Or you might think, ‘Nope, this is perfect, now time for some rest!’

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